rachelatarms (rachelatarms) wrote,
rachelatarms
rachelatarms

Dear Overlord (vol. 1)

Dear Overlord,

I recently transferred to a new school, and a clique has been making my life totally miserable. One of the girls is also being all friendly with the guy I like, and they’re saying nasty things about me. What should I do?

~Jeannie

Jeannie,

Your new favorite word, mortal, is ‘subjugation’. Simply put, you need to do that to this ‘clique’ of which you speak. First, you must secure a position for yourself within the school and make allies (ones that are smart enough to follow you, but stupid enough to not question what you tell them to do). Then you must gather support before striking at this ‘clique’, and eliminating them as a threat. Some deaths are unavoidable, but leave as many alive as possible so that there will be someone to bow before you and serve as a human footstool. Once you have eliminated the threats, you may bring this young man to your throne and inform him that you are the girlfriend now, and will be an infinitely preferable companion to that wretch who had him in her grips before. If he tries to resist, there are many methods of cranial alteration, at least one of which will no doubt make him more compliant. After this demonstration, no one will dare to speak ill of you again.

I hope this has been helpful.

—Overlord

Tags: dear overlord, humor, random
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