rachelatarms (rachelatarms) wrote,
rachelatarms
rachelatarms

Dear Overlord (vol. 2)

Dear Overlord,

My mother-in-law is coming to visit, and she’s super critical of my housekeeping. It’s only for a week, though, so I need to find a way to cope. Any suggestions?

--Meryl

Meryl,

As I see it, there are two solutions. The first is that in order to eliminate both sources of stress—housekeeping and mother-in-law—you could simply drop an atomic bomb on your apartment while said sources are inside. However, given that atomic bombs are scarce right now, the second solution may be more to your liking.

You see, Meryl, the world is full of idiots, and it seems that your mother-in-law may be one. If this is the case, then I recommend taking several things: first, a bottle of whiskey; second, a sharpened sword; and third, a cat. The whiskey is for when you inevitably must confine yourself to avoid harming the woman, the sword is for when you feel violent impulses to stab cushions, and the cat is so that you have someone who can understand the dullness of the creatures around you. Further, as you have a mother-in-law, I would assume you also have a husband whom you find at least slightly tolerable. If this is the case, then find this husband and make him, as your underling, deal with the mother-in-law.

Also, everything is made more fun with explosives. Just a thought.

—Overlord

Tags: dear overlord, humor, random
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